Finding My Light
by Eevil Hero
Summary: -Discontinued- Sequel to Are You Afraid of the Dark? Riku misses the world of light and his friends. So what can he do when he'll be a father soon and the child's mother can't leave the World that Never Was? And what'll Sora do when Roxas goes missing?
1. Chapter 1: Prequel

A/N: As I'm sure many of you know, I promised a sequel to AYAoTD? So here it is. The beginning, anyway. I know it won't make much sense at first. Well, no, I guess it will but…ok, forget it. I'll just let you see for yourselves.

Also, the going's going to be somewhat slow. I have three AP classes this semester and the SAT's to take, so school comes first but I'll do my best to update at least once a week if at all possible. Can't promise anything, unfortunately. But it's a start, right? Wish me luck! And thanks for reading. :D –Eevil hero

Disclaimer: I don't own KH1 or 2. I do own Krad (though not the name. It's from DNAngel. As is the name Dark. However these characters are both mine. I just stole the names. You'll see why later). I also own the narrator and her story. (see Are you afraid of the dark? For details if you forgot or if you never read it.) :D

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Dear Krad,

I'm sorry that you have to find this out in a letter, but I could never stand to tell you in person. I'm not strong enough and for that I hope you'll forgive me.

I'm not sure how to tell you this…There's so many times I've wanted to tell you, but I always thought you were too young. I suppose I don't really have that excuse anymore, do I?

Krad…your father and I are…not exactly alike. He's human, as I'm sure you know, but I…I am not. And neither are your uncle Dark, your uncle Roxas, your aunt Naminé, or your uncle Axel. Though, if I said even those I just named were all the same it would be a lie. I am different than Dark, who is different from Roxas and Naminé who are different from Axel. Those last three are _very_ similar, though Roxas and Naminé are…different. Special. I only tell you this because to understand what I am and in turn what _you_ are, you must first understand who and what they are. I know this may seem strange but…none of those I mentioned were ever meant to exist. We were never born. All of us were created.

Axel was first. He is what you call a Nobody. I know, I know. He isn't at all like the others that you know of. That is because he's what is known as a Great Nobody. As you know, a nobody is created from a body and soul that are left behind when a person – a somebody's heart is stolen. A Great Nobody is made when that person's heart is so strong that their human shapes are maintained, their minds fully intact. Axel is the 8th that we know of. The 13th is your uncle Roxas. The 14th, your aunt Naminé. But as I said before, Roxas and Naminé are completely unique. They are the only two nobodies _ever_ whose somebodies got their hearts back on their own. As you may well guess, Naminé's somebody is your aunt Kairi. Roxas' is your uncle Sora.

At one point, there were fourteen Great Nobodies coexisting. Excluding Naminé, they made of Organization XIII. Those thirteen nobodies had a leader among themselves named Xemnas. He wanted to control Kingdom Hearts, the place all stolen hearts are kept. His reasons for that are not important for you to know so for now I will refrain from explaining. However, he could not control it at the state that it was in, so he made…a host of sorts. A being that could keep all the stolen hearts within itself and would be under his control. So he and the other members used their own essences – their blood – to create a whole new being. Me. I possess all the stolen hearts. I am Kingdom Hearts itself. Which is why I am Queen of our world. All the creatures, though they are unaware of what they do, follow the one that possesses their stolen hearts. I make sure the peace is kept but I don't take away their free will, or what little of it they have left.

Your father and I have looked for a way to return their hearts to them, but have thus far been unable to find a way. I know Axel knows how and I'm sure Roxas does as well, but they'll never tell me because the way they are aware of would end my life. They justify their reasons as more than just attachments to me. They say they've never known the Heartless and Nobodies to be as peaceful as they are now and they also say that even if I gave up my life freely, there will always be more Heartless stealing hearts since I do not possess them all. There are very few that escaped me but even that is enough.

So now you know the truth about me. We are unsure what you are, but you are half human at least. I don't know what my influence on you will cause.

I am truly sorry, my son, for all the pain I have cause you thus far. I hope one day you will come to forgive me.

Your father and I love you, as we always have and always will, and we hope that you will find it in your heart of hearts to forgive us for keeping this from you.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

Love, always,

Your mother


	2. Chapter 2: The Missing Pieces

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts 1 or 2.

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Riku lay awake with his hands under his head, the cool darkness of night pressing gently on his eyes. He stared at the ceiling, thinking, as he did so many nights these days. He sighed softly and rolled over, facing the wall, his back to the center of his bed. He gripped his pillow with one hand and closed his eyes, trying not to think of his friends.

It was true that Riku was happier than he ever really remembered being, even with his memories of his childhood on Destiny Islands. He had everything he wanted. Except his friends.

Riku sighed again. He could leave, really, any time he wanted and go back to them, even if it was just for a little while. A few days, or even just a few minutes. But…

The girl lying beside him muttered something softly in her sleep and shifted slightly, trying to get comfortable. Riku sat up and turned to look at her, the dark moon's gentle glow falling on her pale face. He smiled and gently brushed a stray hair from her face, his fingers lingering on her cheek. His eyes traveled down her form, stopping when they reached her swollen belly. He gently, very carefully rested his warm palm again the skin beneath her nightdress, his eyes softening.

The girl opened her eyes and smiled when she saw what Riku was doing. "You look happy," she murmured.

Riku jumped slightly but recovered himself rather quickly. "I thought you were asleep Rena."

"I was, but now I'm not." She tried to sit up but found it difficult. Riku tried to help her but she ended up just reclining in his arms. She leaned her head against his shoulder. "This baby…he'll change things, Riku…"

"He?" Riku looked down at her, one eyebrow quirked slightly.

Rena smiled and placed her hand on her belly. "I can feel it. It just seems like he'll be a boy…"

Riku placed his hand over hers. "Mm. I feel like he'll be just like me. Incredibly handsome and insanely quick witted."

Rena snorted. "Oh yes, well. I don't know if I could survive living with two of you."

Riku chuckled. "That's probably true." Silence fell and Riku silently debated with himself whether or not to say anything to her about his lingering thoughts, but he didn't get the chance to decide.

"You miss them…" she said softly.

"What makes you think that?" he responded, automatically on the defensive.

Rena turned to look at him. "I can see it in your eyes, Riku. You want to see them."

Riku looked away. "Well, yes, but…"

Rena placed her hand beneath his chin and lifted his head so their eyes met. "Then go," she said softly.

"I can't," he told her, sounding sad. "I have to stay here with you and the baby…don't I?"

Rena smiled up at him. "You've been with me for seven months now, Riku. Your friends don't have much more time for summer vacation. You should go see them while you still can."

"But…don't you want to see them? They're your friends too…"

"True…they are, but…" She tucked his hair behind his ear so she could see his face better. He leaned into her touch and kissed her palm. "You know I can't leave here. Not only is our Kingdom still unstable but I…well…You know I can never leave…Especially now…_I_ might survive another trip out, but the baby…"

"I know." His voice sounded sad. "And I don't think I could survive losing you again." Without warning he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close to him, holding her to his chest. He buried his face in her hair. "I _couldn't_ stand…to lose you again…"

Rena lifted her head and kissed his cheek, her lips lingering longer than was necessary. "Never again. I promise," she murmured. After a long time she sat back but stayed in his hold. "But just because I can't go…"

Riku leaned down and kissed her. When he pulled back his eyes were shining with happiness. "Thank you."

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The next morning, Riku set out, leaving the World that Never Was for the first time in over half a year. He looked back only once and that was to take one last long, lingering look at Rena, who was waving merrily from her place on the steps of the castle. He smiled, turned, and left, entering the Door to Light for the second time in his life.

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Just as he had the first time, Riku fell from the sky and dropped into the ocean around Destiny Islands. Though this time when he emerged from the water there was no one waiting for him. He was completely alone.

Riku swam to shore in what felt like seconds, pulled himself out of the water and shook off droplets of liquid from himself. He looked around and smiled. Not much had changed in his absence.

He walked up the beach and stopped first at Sora's house. He knocked on the door and a few moments later Sora's mother appeared.

"Yes, may I help you?" she asked, looking him up and down as though he were a stranger, not her son's best friend.

"I…uh…I was looking for Sora…is he around?"

She started to shake her head, then did a double take. "Wait…Riku?! Is that really you?" He nodded sheepishly before she embraced him, though now he was much taller than she. "My God how you've grown!" She inspected him with a much more critical eye. "You haven't been eating enough have you?" She clucked her tongue. "Would you like to come in? I can make you some tea, if you like." She smiled at him now like she used to do, as though he were her second son.

Riku smiled at this. "No, thank you Mrs. Hikaru. But Sora…?"

"Oh, goodness, I'd forgotten! No, dear, he's gone for the summer. Went to Twilight Town to stay with those new friends of his…Roxas, I think, was the one he was staying with."

Riku felt slightly crestfallen but his smile stayed the same. "Oh cool. Yeah. I know Roxas. Good kid." He paused, unsure of what to say. "Oh, do you know if Kairi's around?"

"She went with him dear," she said gently as if she knew how much that knowledge would disappoint him. "Are you sure you won't come in?"

Riku smiled and nodded. "Yes, I'm sure, but thank you for the offer." He turned and walked off, waving over his shoulder at her before he heard the door close with a gentle click.

Riku slowly wound his way around the island, took a boat back to the mainland and walked aimlessly until he got back to his own home before he even really had the chance to realize where he was.

He pulled the key out from its old hiding place and unlocked the door, pushing it open and stepping inside. He was relieved to see that someone had been kind enough to clean for him in his absence and realized with a jolt that it had probably been Mrs. Hikaru. With Sora, Riku, and Kairi gone she must have worried so much…Perhaps she'd cleaned this for him hoping he'd come back to it someday.

He heard his stomach rumble but at the same time didn't feel very hungry. He trudged his way back to his room and stumbled inside, falling onto his old bed with a soft _thud._

After fifteen minutes of feeling sorry for himself he decided that the following day he would travel to Twilight Town to see what he could find there. Soon after making this decision he fell asleep, a small smile playing at his lips.

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"Sora! Hit it over here!" Tidus yelled, waving at his teammate to pass him the blitzball.

Sora grinned and used his foot to kick it in the air, then he used his head to hit it to Tidus.

"Yeah Sora!" Kairi cheered from the sidelines. "Go team!"

Sora grinned his cheesy smile at her and received a blitzball to the head.

"Sora!" Hayner, who was also on his team, yelled. "Keep your head in the game! Come on!"

Sora turned back to the game but almost as soon as he had the ball in his hands he dropped it. He froze, staring at something rather far off.

"Sora!" Tidus shouted in frustration. "What is _with_ you today?"

Instead of answering, Sora took a fewsteps forward, eyes glued on something none of the others were looking at.

Kairi stood up when he stopped again. "Sora?" she called. "Are you okay?"

"I…uh…yeah…" he replied, almost in a daze. "I just…I thought I saw…" Then he shook his head. "Never mind. Must have imagined…" He glanced around at all the people staring at him and placed his hands behind his head, wide grin back in place. "Sorry. I spaced. Where were we?"

The others shook their heads and muttered something that sounded awfully like "Sora…" before beginning the game again as though nothing had interrupted them in the first place.

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After the game was over, they all decided to go to the beach. They changed clothes and ran to the train, barely making it in time. Sora and the others threw themselves down into their seats, panting slightly from the run but smiling all the same.

"This'll be great!" Olette cried, bouncing excitedly in her seat. "We haven't gone all summer. I really missed the beach." The others nodded in agreement.

"Shame Roxas isn't here with us…" Sora said softly.

The others quieted for a moment, watching him with eyes that had dimmed suddenly.

Sora looked up and smiled at them all. "Oh, don't worry. I'm alright. It's just…he really loves the beach is all."

After a few minutes of subdued silence the others picked up their own conversations again, smiles returning rather quickly.

Sora, completely uninterested for once, looked around at the other people on the train. Most of them were unfamiliar to him but there were some he knew. Like, for instance, there was the woman who owned the candy shop, and there was the Struggle competition's announcer, and there…

Suddenly, Sora stood up. The others turned to look at him but he wasn't paying attention. He strode forward, pushing gently past the others people in their compartment and approached the man.

He sat alone by the door, facing the wall. His jeans were ripped but his short-sleeved, black jacket looked alright. The red insignia on the back was fading slightly but there was no mistaking the symbol from Organization XIII, even from a distance. His bright red hair was as spiky as ever. He seemed distracted, though. He was staring at something in his hands, turning it over and over with his fingers. He didn't even look up when Sora stood directly beside him.

"Axel?" Sora offered tentatively.

Axel looked up, startled, and smiled. "Oh, it's you, Sora. What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be back on the islands? Or did you and Kairi have a fight or something? You're not running from her are you? Cause lemme tell ya, women love it when guys fight for um and-"

"She's here with me," Sora interrupted hastily.

Axel stopped, seeming flustered, then smiled. "Oh sorry. I was rambling, wasn't I?" He scratched his head with one hand, the other closing indiscreetly around the object he still held.

"What've you got there?" Sora asked with interest, trying to get a good look at what the older man held.

Axel, however, shoved it in his pocket with a fluid movement. "Just an old keepsake," he said dismissively. "Nothing you'd be interested in" He glanced out the window for a moment. "Ah, my stop's coming up, so if you'll excuse me…" He rose and turned away from Sora, taking a few steps toward the door.

"Wait!" Sora called after him. "Axel…have you seen Roxas? Is that why you're here?"

Axel stopped, closed his eyes, and breathed out heavily through his nose. When he opened his eyes again they stared straight ahead. As the train slowed to a stop, Axel stepped down the stairs. Just before he left, he called, "Enjoy your summer Sora!" He disappeared a few moments later into the crowd.

"Axel! Wait a sec!" Sora tried to go after him but before he could the door slid shut and the train began to move again. Sora sighed and returned to his seat. His friends barely even looked up. Apparently they had not seen Axel or heard their short conversation. Sora smiled when Kairi looked at him with concern in her eyes but it faded as soon as she turned away. The summer wasn't turning out to be so great after all…

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Axel stopped a few blocks away and leaned back against a rough stone building. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the small, black metal crown he'd concealed from Sora. He looked down at it, sighed, and stuffed it into the pocket of his jacket.

Axel pushed himself away from the wall and walked down the street again. As he passed a thin alleyway, he tossed the crown to the cloaked figure standing in it.

"You can't hide forever you know," he called softly, not pausing before passing the man by like he hadn't seen him.

The figure looked down at the keychain in his hand and sighed. "Yeah…I know…" He hesitated, then turned away, fading a few moments later into the darkness.


	3. Chapter 3: Everyone Knows

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, sadly enough.

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A few days had passed and Riku had had no luck at all in finding his friends. He was just considering giving up and going home when his first real clue since his arrival in Twilight Town hit him smack dab in the face. Literally.

Riku stumbled backward before righting himself, rubbing his injured nose.

"Ah! Sorry about that."

Riku waved it off. "No, it's fine. I wasn't watching where I was…going…" His voice faded off. "Axel? What are you doing here?"

Axel, who had been about to turn away, froze and spun back around. "Sorry…do I know you?"

Riku looked at him in confusion. "Yeah. It's me, Riku?"

"Oh right! Sorry…Talk about blank with a capital B." He chuckled. "Of course I remember you. How ya been?"

Riku shrugged. "I've been looking for my friends."

Axel looked at him strangely. "Is that so? Which ones?"

"Oh uh…Sora and the others…Why? Have you seen um?"

Axel nodded. "On the train just now." He jerked his head back in the direction of the train which was just leaving the station. "Just missed it. I don't know where they were going, but if you hang around the center of town you'll find um soon enough."

Riku smiled for the first time in days. "Thanks." He turned to go, then stopped. "Say, what are you doing here? You never said…"

"Oh right…" Axel shifted his weight and looked as though he didn't want to say. "It's not important…but Riku…when you do see your friends…don't bring _him_ up, okay?"

"Him? Him who?"

"Number thirteen." With that, Axel turned walked off, waving over his shoulder at Riku.

"Hey wait! What happened to Roxas?" he shouted, but Axel was long gone, disappeared into the crowd.

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After that, Riku decided to follow Axel's advise and headed for the center of town. He got on the next train and settled back for the hour long wait before he got where he wanted to go. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, enjoying the silence of the empty car.

"I wonder what happened to Roxas…" he muttered to himself. "I thought Sora was staying with him…"

"He was."

Riku jumped and looked around. "I didn't know there was anyone else here," he said honestly when his heart rate returned to normal.

"There wasn't." The man smiled.

"Who are you? I don't think I know you."

The man smiled and tugged the hood of his cloak down father over his face. "It's been a while Riku. I'm not surprised you don't remember."

Riku considered him even more carefully. "Your voice sounds familiar…and you're wearing an Organization uniform. Who are you?" he demanded.

"You won't find what you're looking for here, Riku."

"You mean my friends?"

The figure shook his head. "No, not them. You'll find them alright. Most of them, anyway."

"Oh, you're talking about Roxas, aren't you?"

He smiled but said nothing.

"What happened to him?" Riku's voice was rising without him even realizing it.

"Ask your friends," the man replied simply.

"I'm asking _you_. And I think you know something."

The man smiled again. "And you'd be right, but I'm not going to be the one to tell you. That's something you need to discover yourself." He stood and moved toward the door.

"Hey, what are you doing? The train's still moving."

The man only waved as he walked through the solid door and disappeared.

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Sora and the others got back late that night. They were all exhausted but happy. Their trip to the beach had been fun, but something had been bothering Sora that whole time.

Kairi was the first to notice. "Sora, is something wrong? You've been jumpy all day…"

"Hm? Oh um…Just a little…tired, I guess…"

Kairi slowed to a stop and Sora stopped beside her, the others moving on without noticing. "You're lying…" she said softly.

"Yeah, w-well…" He didn't know what to say to that.

"You know…Sora…if there's anything I can do…you'd tell me, right?"

Sora attempted a smile. "Yeah. Yeah of course."

She smiled back at him though she still looked sad and a little suspicious. "Good. Well, since that's settled…" She faced forward again and started to head back toward their friends. "So I was thinking we'd get started on our summer assignment tomorrow. What do you think of that Sora?" When there was no reply, she turned around but no one was there. "Sora?" she called. "Sora!!"

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Riku was sitting on a low wall in the town's center. It was still the middle of the day and he was getting weird looks from people he didn't even know. He wished they'd either leave him alone or tell him where Sora and the others were. Or at least do something _useful_. Seriously, it's not like he was just there for eye candy. (this last fact is under dispute by the rabid fan girls following poor Riku around…)

It was starting to get late and he'd been there for maybe two hours when someone finally approached him. Riku looked up with a smile, thinking it would be Sora but then his face became impassive again when he saw that it wasn't.

"Who are you?" the boy demanded.

Riku raised an eyebrow. "What's it matter to you?"

"I'm the head of Twilight Town's disciplinary committee. I make these things my business, see? So I suggest you answer me."

"Or what? You'll blind me with your belly shirt?"

Seifer's eye twitched. "Whatever. Who are you?" he demanded again.

"King Riku," Riku replied, unable to resist throwing in his title.

"King of what?" Seifer scoffed, apparently thinking Riku was making things up.

Riku smirked. "Hell," he growled softly.

Seifer's smug look faded slightly as he considered this stranger with a new light.

Riku laughed and stood, looking down a few inches at the younger boy. "Geez Seifer. Can't even remember me from school?"

Recognition shone in Seifer's eyes at last. "Oh yeah! Sorry…you look…different…"

"Do I? People keep saying that…"

"Maybe it's the duds. You're wearing a black cloak and all…?"

"Am I?" Riku seemed surprised. Then he looked down at himself. "Oh…I guess I am." With that he pulled it off, revealing his normal clothes underneath. "Better?"

Seifer laughed. "Yeah." He shrugged. "Anyway, I better get going. You gonna be in town long?"

Riku shrugged. "Depends on if I ever find my friends. You seen um?"

Seifer's shoulders actually slumped a little. "Yeah…" he replied, voice low. "Just after…well…you know…" He looked around nervously.

Riku looked at him oddly. "Does it have anything to do with Rox-?"

"Shut up!" Seifer hissed. "Do you want people to hear you?"

Riku was really concerned now. "I haven't been around in half a year. What happened to R…him?"

Seifer was taken aback. "You really don't know…?" When Riku shook his head Seifer sighed. "And I thought everyone knew this already…" He sighed. "All right, but I'll only tell ya what I heard. I gotta make this quick." He glanced around to make sure no one was listening or close enough to eavesdrop. "You know how he was in that Organization a while back? The dark one?"

Riku nodded, not liking where this was going.

"I heard they sent some hit men or something after him." Seifer leaned in, lowering his voice even more. "Said they attacked him while he was sleeping. Mixed up him and the brunet…Sora, right?" He hesitated, then went on. "Hasn't turned up in months, they say. Sora's still got the scars. I saw those myself. Blitzball practice and all." Riku nodded. "But I don't know if it's true. It's just one of the rumors flying around this place. For the truth you'd have to ask-"

"RIKU! WATCH OUT!"

Both of them looked up and Riku backed up a step. He flung up his arm in front of his face before he was attacked head on at full force.

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A/N: Ohh the suspense. Maybe if you review I'll put up the next chapter sooner. I haven't gotten any for this fic yet and it's a little discouraging. You know? So please be nice and review. In any case, thanks for reading!

-Eevil hero


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